Stuff

Feels like I haven't written a blog for aaaages. I've missed you, my public, my therapist, my conscience, my nemesis.

I just had a fabulous weekend. Which is nice. And I'm all fired up to look at a new career. And I'm in the middle of a good book. And I've definitely decided that the best pet in the world would be a turtle without its shell. All grey and wrinkly and vulnerable like a very small squashed elephant. You could knit little four-armed jumpers for it and keep it in your top pocket. I expect turtles are wise, so you could use it as a reference-pet. Don't ask Jeeves, ask your turtle. I'm not sure what the difference is between turtles and tortoises, but either would do. Just not the giant ones - unless you have very large pockets. Turtally cool pet.

My body is suffering. Again. Last weekend I went horse riding and the following day pulled a muscle in my back so I felt like a gang-raped camel. This weekend I went walking (proper walking, for hours and hours) on the moors in Yorkshire and (apart from sniffing very loudly for hours and thus scaring the local wildlife away, and then being bitten by a sheepdog) seem to have stretched every muscle in my legs by about three feet and then squished them back down to fit them back into my legs. Very uncomfortable but not actually painful. My return journey, from Yorkshire to
Buckinghamshire, was alternately hilarious and wretched. My right knee gets
stiff if I drive too long and it started to feel 'orrible so I found a position that didn't hurt, but that brought on cramp in my hip. So I squirmed about a bit more and found a position that didn't cause cramp or hurt my knee, but that brought on sciatica. I was driving at a very strange angle for the last hundred miles or so - I must have looked demented because I was giggling at the absurdity of it but also grimacing at the pain. And singing along (loudly) to Rod Stewart which also causes odd facial movements. So if you happened to be driving down the M1 at 7pm last night
and saw a manic babybadger hunched weirdly over a steering wheel, the chances are it was me. I'm sorry if I made you drive off the road.

Places to visit: CAT (Centre for Alternative Technology) in Wales (Not that I have, but I plan to. Honest.)

Places to avoid: Haworth (very bleak)

Books to read: Odd Thomas (Dean Koontz)
Angry White Pyjamas (Robert Twigger)

Music to avoid on the M1: Robbie Williams
Music to avoid anywhere else: Whale song (unless you are a whale)